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For anyone used to the quick-fire urbanity experienced in other South American capitals then the undeniable charm of Asunció* will seem like a somnambulant afternoon in the park.
Parks are, incidentally, a great way to slow your pulse to Paraguayan time.
Complete with resident footsoldiers, it is a shrine to President Francisco Lopez, an admirer of Napoleon who decided to invade Brazil in 1864.
Don Alfredo Stroessner kept Paraguay in a state of fear and martial law for 34 years until finally being exiled to Brazil in 1989 (where he died last year at the age of 93).
His statue sits, hacked into pieces, encased in concrete.
Getting a true bargain in the cheapest city on Earth is not as easy as you might think. After only 20 minutes in Asunción, the capital of Paraguay, I'd already found a fantastic café in the heart of the centre which served an empanada, bursting with ham and cheese and the size of a travel pillow, for the equivalent of 55p. Within half an hour the news of my empanada had spread through the entire club. You've just eaten the most expensive empanada in Paraguay! Mercer Consulting, which compiles an annual list, has placed it as the least expensive city to live in for the fifth year running.
But later that evening, as I chatted to hordes of partying Paraguayans in a nightspot called the Bambuddha, I told a group about my supposedly thrifty find. An old man approached me and wordlessly put a hand on my shoulder in sympathy. With 141 places separating Asunció from Moscow, the world leading wallet-shredder (London is in second place), the prices really are extraordinary.